January 23rd, 2012 at 1:53PM

Knope 2012: Leslie’s most important issues

  • More dog parks
  • Senior citizens rights
  • Safe streets
  • Safe sidewalks
  • Better schools
  • Lower taxes
  • Better parks
  • Better business climate
  • Better Better Business Bureau
  • Cleaner streets
  • Improve greenways
  • More snow plows
  • Protecting Pawneeans
  • Improving tourism
  • More trash cans
  • Energy-efficient street lights
  • Westside Detoxification and Revitalization Project
  • Repaving Grand Avenue
  • More teachers
  • Fewer libraries
  • Improve intergovernmental agency communication
  • Clean-up Barefoot Lake
  • Passing Pawnee Jobs Bill P-129.4
  • Playgrounds in every park
  • Playgrounds in every schoolyard
  • Playgrounds in every residential block
  • Clean energy
  • One police officer for every 5 citizens
  • One park ranger for every 10,000 raccoons
  • Resodding Hilltop Cemetery
  • Start talking to Cuba again
  • Emergency evacuation drills
  • Plow for Charity
  • Forming an Ad Hoc Sub-Committee Oversight Committee
  • Challenging the norm
  • Pawnee Corn Subsidies
  • Finally Passing PR-61, formally recognizing South Korea
  • Official peace treaty with the Wamapoke Tribe
  • Four-way stops at every intersection
  • Unionizing ice cream trucks
  • Get Europe out of debt
  • Free trade with Illinois
  • Enact RRP - Raccoon Relocation Project
  • Pawnee Community College tuition in exchange for 4 years of public service
  • Doubling Pawnee Hospital’s emergency room nurse staff
  • Legalize Korean
  • Lower the obesity level
  • Stop global terrorism
  • Re-open the toucan exhibit at Pawnee Zoo
  • Find Gabe the Toucan
  • More community gardens
  • Ordinance 11F: To Re-pave City Sidewalks
  • Budget reform
  • Updated Technologies for Local Schools
  • Better retirement benefits for city employees
  • Edward Phillips Senior Center Remodeling
  • Speed bumps in front of elementary schools
  • Unemployment benefits
  • Re-instating the Main St. Farmers Market
  • No turtles as pets
  • New uniforms for youth sports programs
  • Free public Wi-Fi
  • Updated childcare facilities
  • Shutting down the Child Left Behind program
  • Handicap parking placards for the obese
  • FREE PARKING EVERYWHERE
  • Cleaner drinking water
  • Regulate heights of trampolines
  • Memorial for those lost in the trampoline “incident”
  • Control the floods
  • Funding for public art commission
  • Fencing in correctional facilities
  • New police patrol cars
  • Funding overtime hours for police
  • Rebuilding the PTA
  • Prosecuting former PTA president Linda Trifle
  • Profitable government organizations
  • Shutting down underground shooting ranges
  • Making sure city contracts employ local workers
  • Providing more economic development grants and micro-loans to small businesses
  • Foster partnerships with sister cities
  • More buses to speed up morning commutes
  • More streets to accommodate additional buses
  • Require all city employees check and respond to email
  • Working sewers
  • More parades
  • Grants for scientists to discover new forms of energy
  • Leave a lasting impression on all visitors
  • Challenge the norm
  • Finish the statue of Burt Bacharach
  • No more conflict diamonds
  • Bulletproof glass everywhere
  • Free cookies at every street corner
  • One school for every student
  • Require flattering mirrors in public restrooms
  • Develop a municipal composting operation
  • Enforce existing speeding and noise ordinances
  • Upgrade existing parks
  • Create an anti-graffiti, youth outreach program
  • Free cake when it’s your birthday
  • Reevaluate NAFTA
  • Rickshaw Wednesdays
  • Making it illegal to refuse a hug
  • Make downtown more people-friendly
  • Sell candy in government buildings to pay down the debt
  • Get Pawnee a licensed pharmacy
  • Better screening processes at local adoption agencies
  • Finding homes for the adopted children of Day Labor Corp.
  • Prop 6A: To Recognize All Five Food Groups
  • Replacing all glass with plastic at Pawnee Psychiatric Clinic
  • Curfew for minors at The Pawnee Mall
  • Stop paying Sweetums the so-called “thank you for being here” tax
  • Mini-golf renovations
  • Subsidizing educational and eco-friendly businesses
  • Removing Zorp from all written laws
  • Reducing Federal Government Experiments in town to 10 per year
  • Ordinance 8R: A Goat Cannot Own/Inherit a Farm
  • Legalize clapping
  • New railway
  • Prop 14: Religion Is Not a Science
  • No longer recognizing the winner of the chili cook-off as a government position
  • Stricter testing at Pawnee Blood Bank
  • Boarding up unsanctioned “drop off” slot at Pawnee Blood Bank
  • Encouraging the FDA to re-analyze our farms
  • Funding for better and safer sewage treatment
  • Thicker cement for containment of old sewage treatment factory
  • Mandatory sexual harassment seminar for government employees
  • Starting a dialogue with the people who live in the trees
  • Pay off our debt to the Ringling Bros.
  • Prove that we can safely host a circus again
  • Ordinance 43K: Laws Cannot Be Secrets
  • Recall Food N’ Stuff branded hand sanitizer
  • Disseminate the fund for a Pawnee Military
  • Find the stolen cell phone tower
  • Reduce obesity by .01% (100 lbs per family)
  • Make the Pawnee Cemetery less flammable
  • Less nudity on public-access television
  • Capping the number of local public-access channels at 50
  • Eliminate permit application process for legal ownership of a calculator
  • Making Li’l Sebastian Day a legal holiday

    1. miaquakes reblogged this from popculturebrain
    2. nurulaw reblogged this from popculturebrain and added:
      More dog parks Senior citizens rights Safe streets Safe sidewalks Better schools Lower taxes Better parks Better...
    3. changeusintosand reblogged this from popculturebrain and added:
      i knew you’d come through with this tumblr
    4. worldwhatup reblogged this from popculturebrain
    5. romywhite reblogged this from emilysyrja
    6. sluglyslut reblogged this from popculturebrain
    7. yellowleather reblogged this from popculturebrain
    8. sauvee reblogged this from popculturebrain
    9. aslowmotiondream reblogged this from popculturebrain
    10. georgedeputee reblogged this from popculturebrain
    11. trilladamclark reblogged this from popculturebrain
    12. takethecityandrun reblogged this from evangotlib
    13. hopelessunderachiever reblogged this from popculturebrain
    14. recipeforromping reblogged this from solidbutter
    15. solidbutter reblogged this from beastofjoy and added:
      somebody did this and i am proud of them
    16. burningtightrope reblogged this from popculturebrain and added:
      ..FREE PARKING EVERYWHERE IS THE BEST RULE EVER
    17. aberjona reblogged this from evangotlib and added:
      I think, “Free trade with Illinois” may have put me over the edge.
    18. bulliesalwayswin reblogged this from popculturebrain and added:
      Incase you couldn’t read the small print last episode:
    19. encyclopediate reblogged this from popculturebrain
    20. theeduardo reblogged this from popculturebrain
    21. nickdelo reblogged this from popculturebrain
    22. xbesportschik reblogged this from bruinsofaces and added:
      OMG I can’t believe the time was taken to write them all down
    23. bruinsofaces reblogged this from popculturebrain
    24. atomictoasterpr0n reblogged this from popculturebrain
    25. spidaamonkey reblogged this from ihatesockmonkeys
    26. maudelovesharold reblogged this from popculturebrain
    27. wanttobebestfriends reblogged this from popculturebrain and added:
      if you paused your TV to read the list during thursday’s episode, we could be friends, or pawnee goddesses, which is way...
    28. mchammmmer reblogged this from beastofjoy
    168 notes
    Short URL for this post: http://tmblr.co/Zdx0ZyFF1Nke